Hidden Secrets
by immyownsuperman
Summary: This is the sequel to Forbidden Love. YOU DO NOT NEED TO READ THE FIRST STORY! THE FIRST CHAPTER EXPLAINS ALL! Tony has lost Ziva can he survive the pain it has brought? Tiva and some Gabby along the way.
1. Prologue

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**This is the sequel to Forbidden Love.**

**Go and read that one if you want to know the beginning to the story.**

**The first one is Gabby which means there will be that along the way.**

**If you don't want to read Gabby I will tell you what is going on.**

**The last time we saw Ziva she was pregnant with someone's child.**

**The choices were McGee, Tony, or Gibbs.**

**All is revealed now.**

**Ziva has disappeared and no on knows were she went.**

**Not her father, not Tony, but wait.**

**She sends a letter to Gibbs every once in awhile.**

**Please only postive reviews other wise I will delate any review you post.**

**Please enjoy the story and don't bash!

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Three long years and nothing seemed the same. She had a beautiful child, one that looked just like the father. The father was now standing in front of her, after three years. Had it really taken this long? Her child hid behind her leg, just hugging it. What was she supposed to say? She'd thought of this day over and over, she still wasn't ready.

"Ziva?" he asked reaching for her hand. She backed up and bent down to pick up the frightened child. The child started to cry in her arms she tried to shush the child. There was only one way, she'd have to say the name. The same name as the father.

"Shh Tony..." she finally said. Tony hushed down and closed his eyes. Tony J.r now she really regretted naming her child that. Why had she done that? Now he knew that that was his son in her arms.

That was just the beginning.


	2. Pieces

**Thanks to:**

**gabbytiva123**

**I have deiced to make this a song fic...I think it will be cool**

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_"I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way"_

_- Pieces - Red  
_

Tony sat at his desk, just thinking. His search for Ziva had hit another dead end, as usual. Sometimes he'd pull all nighters looking for her, searching. He didn't know why he tried so hard. Gibbs had assured her that she was fine. Before he tried so hard searching for her, he'd work out. He didn't have

His hair was overgrown, having it short reminded him of Ziva. It was shaggy, just like a teenager. His off its had become less formal and more teenage. Anything that reminded him of Ziva was in a box in a closet he never opened. Abby always said that he was being over emotional. He didn't think he was, maybe he was.

He could never get over her, never. He saw her at the wedding, lurking around. He needed to find her. She was out there, alone. He didn't even know if she was alive anymore. Her father, that bastard, could have done something to her. If he had, he would wish he had never been born. He'd die beneth Tony's words.

"Snap out of it!" Gibbs said slapping the back of his head.

"Sorry boss..." Tony said coming back into it. His eyes skimmed across Zivas old desk, the new mossad agents desk. Officer Freed, a girl who looked like Ziva, to much like her. Then again like Gibbs said Mossad where one big happy family, mostly. I guess they knew better then that now. After what Ziva had gone through.

"DiNozzo, McGee, Freed..." they all turned to look at him. "Go home..." he said getting up from his desk. McGee and Freed jumped up from there desk and headed to the elevator. Those two had gotten a little friendly, and Tony knew where that could led. It happened to him, he fell in love. McGoo didn't need that, but atleast he moved on from Abby.

"DiNozzo what you still doing here?" Gibbs asked. He looked up to discover Abby and Gibbs side by side. They were obvisuly going home.

"Thinking..." Tony said. He watched as Gibbs rushed Abby off.

"You do your best work at midnight DiNozzo...but take a night off, and don't hit the gym, watch a movie...like you used to..." Gibbs said his fatherly side showing. Tony looked up at him, he hadn't watched a movie by himself in months, since Sarah broke up with him. It wasn't Sarah it was the relazation that there was only one person he loved, who was gone. Tony finally nodded his head. "I mean it." Gibbs said leaving.

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Tony watched the T.V, well he tried. He had to open the boxes in his closet to find a movie, and stumbled across a photo of him and Ziva. His arm was around her shoulders and she had hers around his waist. If someone didn't know better they would say they were a couple. Mostly from the sparkle in eachothers eyes. Tony turned off the T.V and got a beer from the fridge hoping to drink away his problems.

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"What is this?" Abby asked stroming down the steps of the basement. She held a piece of paper in her hand. Gibbs looked up at her and reached for the piece of paper. She let him grab it and understanding filled his eyes.

"Ziva's letter..." Gibbs said setting it down. He grabbed Abby's hand trying to make it easier. "She wouldn't let me tell you...said you would tell Tony." he explained.

"Shes damn right! He has a right to know that shes still out there!" Abby yelled.

"Shh...you'll wake up the twins..." Gibbs said standing in front of her.

"Sorry..." she said looking into his eyes, "I guess the hormones of being pregnant are getting to me..." she said noticing the curious look in Gibbs' eyes. "Later..." she added.

"Your right...he does deserve to know..." Gibbs said.

"Tell him..." Abby said pulling them both down to sit. Gibbs gripped her hand. "Have you seen what Ziva dissappearing has done to him?" she asked turning to look at him. He nodded his head slowly. "He's dying...soon there will be no Tony, all the pieces that are left will be gone..." she said tears filling her eyes.

"I know..." Gibbs said pulling her into his chest. "I'll tell him..." Gibbs said standing up. He kissed Abby good-bye and climbed up the stairs and out the door.

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**OMG! Lol this went a lot sooned then I expected...:D I'll update soon and sorry about the delay...Love all my readers!! :D PLEASE REVIEW THE MORE THE FASTER I UPDATE!**


	3. The Damning Well

**Thanks to:**

**gabbytiva123**

**:D  
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_"I lose control as the story unfolds  
It has been like a knife to bare skin  
I walk alone like a king with no throne  
I burn up from the monster within  
Life is too long for me  
Life is too long for me"_

_- The Damning Well By: Awakening  
_

How could there be so much pain, just from one person. She'd left his life and now it was too long for him. He'd been so stupid just letting the love of his life walk away expecting to make a life without her. Expecting Sarah to stay with him. Ziva had moved on and she had made that clear to him, but he hadn't even know she felt like that. Like he did.

Tony had lost count of how many beers he had had after five. He stopped not really knowing why. At some point a little voice in his head had said stop. Now he laid on his bed staring at the ceiling hoping to get Ziva out of his mind. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn't he get over this horrible pain that laid in his chest.

"Damn this..." Tony said standing and heading to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror not shocked at what he was seeing. It wasn't him anymore, if Ziva saw what had happened to him she would probably not reconize him. His hair was grown long and mangy, his face gone thin, and lastly he had gained about twenty pounds all in muscle. He slowly lifted his shirt over his head.

Tony couldn't bare to look at himself, who knew how many girls he had been with since Sarah left. It was as if they still lingered on his skin. Hell, they were still there and probably would never leave. He put his shirt back on and stepped away from the bathroom and into the kitchen. He needed to sleep.

Tony opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the sleep pills. He grabbed four and popped them into his mouth, swalloing without water. He took more then the recamended dose, as usual. He slowly tried to pull himself to the couch falling to the ground. A tight pain came to his chest and his vision slowly blurred.

Tony screamed out as the pain intensified. Here it was, the overdosing of all the drugs and alcholal finally catching up to him. He knew it, he knew it was coming. Slowly he screamed again as he thought of Ziva. He didn't care who heard him. He was going to die anyways. He heard a crash but didn't bother to look up.

"Tony!" someone shouted.

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Gibbs climbed out the elevator at Tony's floor and started walking to his door. He knew how messed up Tony was, maybe Abby was right, he did have a right to know. Ziva was the only way to save Tony. Gibbs was almost to the door when the screaming started. He pulled out his gun and moved to the door.

Gibbs kicked down the door and came into see a broken Tony on the ground.

"Tony!" Gibbs shouted holstering his gun. He looked to the counter to see a open bottle of pills and a bottle of beer. Stupid bastard. Gibbs ran to Tony and pulled out his cell-phone.

"Gibbs..." he heard Tony mumur looking up at him. He could see him slipping away.

"Yes I need an ambulance now!" Gibbs shouted on the phone closing it and dropping it on the floor. "Hold on DiNozzo..." Gibbs said looking at his face, he was fading.

"It hurts so much, boss..." Tony said reaching out for him. Gibbs took his hand and gripped it, out of character that was for him. Some part of him knew that Tony needed the contact.

"Damn it...stay with me Tony..." he said looking towards the door. He could hear the paramedics rushing up the stairs.

"Ziva..." Tony mumured closing his eyes. Damn it! Why hadn't he told him about her sooner?

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**Epic right? I love this chapter! Well cause it explains how much Tony is hurting!**

**Please Review I love you all! (The more reviews the faster I update!)  
**


	4. Never Too Late

**Thanks to:**

**GabbyTiva123**

**Wow...bummer on the reviews...Please Get more people intrested other wise I'm just gonna stop this story...:D

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_ "Even if I say it'll be alright  
Still I hear you say you want to end your life  
Now and again we try to just stay alive  
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late  
It's never too late"_

_Never too Late - Three Days Grace_

The pain, he never imagined so much pain could come from one little thing. The pain radiated from his heart all through his body, it was as if with every heartbeat a wave of pain was pushed through his body. Why did the pain have to be so bad? Why couldn't he just die? He wished it every day, now he begged for death to come and take his soul. He could see the people who stood over him, the people who tried to save him.

Could he be saved?

"Tony...stay with us..." Gibbs' voice faded. His face appeared above him, his father figure. The one man who had come the most close to being his father then anyone else had. He knew he had to stay strong just so he could impress the one man who had helped him through most everything. He didn't want to, he just wanted to wither and die.

Skilled hands worked over him and he now realized that Gibbs no longer stood above him. Now it was just people in white, like angels that had come to take him, but they weren't there to take him. They were supposed to save him. They were supposed to keep him alive, and he knew that to his NCIS family they were saviors. He hated them though, why couldn't they just let him go?

"Were losing him!" and then there was the flat line tone.

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"Gibbs!" Abby shouted the twins in a stroller in front of her. She jogged to him letting him take her into his warm and strong arms. His hands rubbed circles in his back and she suddenly felt like sobbing. She just wanted to let it all come out, she didn't care were she was. The excitement of being no longer was there.

"Hey...it's okay..." Gibbs said still holding. her. She could hear the twins sobbing, but she couldn't move, she was frozen. She pulled away the tears still falling down her face freely. What was she supposed to do now? She looked up at the man who loved her, and saw that all his features where frozen in a deep hidden fear. "Get the twins..." he murmured his face not changing from it's set expression, and all she could do was nod. She couldn't fall in his arms again knowing he couldn't take it. He ran his hands through her beautiful black hair and slowly kissed her forehead. As he pulled away a tingling sensation stayed where he had kissed her. Lingering longer then needed. That was all the confidence she needed.

"Hey guys its okay..." She said trying to hush the twins. There faces were now streaked with tears to. They were so in tuned with there parents feelings that they had even started to cry a bit on the way over. They felt everything they felt. If she was sad they were sad, if he was angry they were angry, so it was easy to be a happy family and there were no hidden feelings.

Abby felt hands come and connect with her waist as the kneeled before the twins. She turned quickly into her lovers arms hoping by hanging onto him all the feelings would fade away and there would only be serenity. There family would go to there happy place they went to sometimes. Maybe she was right, the feelings all seemed to fade and there was no crying that could be heard. Rough hands connected with her face and she closed her eyes at the feeling. Rough lips that could only match those hands crashed down on hers and everything seemed to disappear.

For once in there life no giggling could be heard from the twins. They knew that now wasn't the time. That this wasn't a funny kiss but a serious one. They knew that as there parents' lips moved together that it was comfort kiss meant for the whole family. Slowly they pulled away and leaned there foreheads together.

That was enough for now.

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**There you go! Please Review I like reviews! hehehehe lol !**


	5. Missing

**Thanks to:**

**amber**

**gabbytiva123

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_"Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?"_

_Missing - Evanescence_

Ziva looked out the window of there small cabin not knowing what to expect. She saw desert that really wasn't a big shock but something was there that she couldn't see. She looked over her shoulder to look at her son who lay on the couch. He snored and half his body was thrown off the couch. He sleep just like his father.

Tony J.R was his father, even at three years old. His brown hair was slicked up into a faux hawk because he had insisted it. She knew that she shouldn't have those photos of Tony in her drawer. J.r had saw them and adding in the movies he watched that's how he wanted his hair. Even at three she had a very smart child.

Ziva slowly walked over to the piano and sat down at the bench. She brushed her fingertips gently over the keys lettting music fill the room. She heard the snoring get louder and let a smile fall on her face. The piano always had seemed to soothe the boy to sleep. Just like his father he enjoyed watching her play. Even trying the keys sometimes.

_Flashback:_

_Ziva played the piano and let the music carry her away. She tried to forget all that was going on around her. All the pain, all the blood. Nothing could change this moment. She moved her hands over like an invitation for the person who sat next to her could play. She heard the duet melody start to play and a smile creep onto her face._

_"I hope I'm doing okay and your not laughing at me." Tony murmured. She could hear the embarrassment on his voice. She chuckled under her breathe._

_"No your doing great." she said starting to play a more complicated piece. He stopped playing probably from embarrassment. She knew he couldn't play a piece like this but she really didn't care. Somehow he found his way back and his hands connected to the music making the piece even more beautiful. She could hear his mistakes but somehow they seemed to fit this moment just fine._

_"I've been practicing." he murmured probably just enough that she could barely understand him. Ziva stopped playing and turned to look at Tony. He still moved his hands to the music, losing himself. That was one thing she loved about him, his passion. He had a passion for just about everything he did. There were sides of him that she had seen that many people probably never would._

_"Here..." Ziva whispered moving her hands over by his. She started to copy his melody and had him watch her hands. The mistakes came less and a smile appeared on his face. He did not move his hands after they stopped playing._

_"Thanks." he said turning to look at him._

_"Anytime." she said smiling and looking into his eyes. He moved his hands and slowly brushed back a piece of hair from her face. She didn't move or flinch as she had become used to the action from him. He did it every time they were alone._

_Tony moved both of his hands to her face and gently held it in place. She looked into his eyes in shock only to see love shone back at her. He smiled and leaned down closely until there foreheads touched. She closed her eyes expecting a kiss._

_Ring Ring._

_Tony pulled away and Ziva's eyes flashed open. He reached down to his phone and pulled it free of the belt._

_"I have to go." Tony said getting up from the bench. _

_"See you later." she said smiling up at him. He smiled back and headed out the door closing it behind him._

Ziva played a little longer before she got up from the bench and moved to her son. A smile lingered on his face as he sleep.

So much like his father.

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**Sorry for the forever taking update! hahaha! I like this chapter**

**REVIEW I LOVE YOU ALL!**

REVIEW!  



	6. Beautiful Girl

**Thanks to: **

**deidi

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_"Here I lay, I drift away, you come in and lay beside me  
It's got to be a memory that feels so real but just beyond me  
Mesmerized, In you I find what I had was unrealized but  
Emptiness settles in as I awake"_

_- Beautiful Girl - Broken Iris_

No.

The world couldn't be this painful.

The sky is blue, the water is clear, and there are smiles.

Love and war. Why do people put those words together? Is it to show that there is good in the bad? How could there be so much pain and have something good come from it.

The world is so broken, but how to people move through it?

The find something, a passion, a hobby, a minor glimmer of hope, but for most its a someone.

What do you do when that is gone?

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"No!" Tony screamed out burying his face into the pillow. Abby watched from the doorway as his face scrunched up in pain, the way he gripped the sheets sweet falling down his arms. Another nightmare, another pain filled night,

"Another one?" Gibbs asked from behind her. Abby nodded her head and turned into his arms.

"He's in so much pain..." Abby murmured burying her head in his shoulder.

"Yeah...come on he's calmed down." Gibbs said grabbing her hand. He knew there was nothing he could do to help Tony at this moment in time. Abby slowly closed the door but did not move from her spot. So much pain in one man, to much for anyone to handle. They needed to find Ziva and bring her back before he really did kill himself. "Ziva wrote." Gibbs said trying to knock her out of her trance.

"She did?" she asked suddenly intrigued.

"Yeah come on." he said leading her down the stairs. The reached the living room to find the twins laying on the couch. Kate was snoring but Mark watched the T.V not even flinching when Abby leaned over the couch.

"Is umcle Tony otay?" Mark asked.

"He's fine but I think its time for you to go to sleep." Abby said and she could see the form of a frown appearing on his face. "No pouting." she muttered kissing his forehead. He nodded his head and slowly moved for the remote. His eyes didn't move from the T.V. "Turn it off."

"Okay fine." Mark said pressing the off button on the T.V.

"Good night honey."

"Night mom."

Abby moved to the kicthen were Gibbs sat drinking out of a mug, probably bourbon.

"That one has a stubborn attitude." Abby said sitting next to Gibbs. He smiled and slowly took her hand.

"He's like you." he said looking into her eyes.

"As he is like you." Abby said giving his hand a slight squeeze. He smiled gently, but having it never reach his eyes. "Okay I want to see the letter." she said a serious atmosphere taking over. He nodded his head reaching for a white piece of paper on the table.

"Read." he said placing it in front of her. Abby slowly unfolded the piece of paper, he eyes slowly taking in the words.

'Dear Gibbs-

I've finally sent a picture of my child. His name is Tony J.r, and he is so much like his father. There are so many things they do like each other. I know this all comes as a shock, but it is what happened. I think that you are now ready to know the truth to this. Tony is the father of my child. Please send a picture of the twins with the return address I gave you.

-All my love

Ziva.'

Abby looked up at Gibbs wanting an explanation, but she could see he did not have one.

He was just as shocked.

Tony's son?

Ziva's son?

"Tony's son..." Abby whispered mostly to herself.

"My son?"

Crap.

Abby turned to look at Tony.

Sweat matted his forehead and he had to use the door to support his weight. He looked horrible and the look of shock wasn't helping anything. She could see the pain and betrayal in his eyes. He loved Ziva.

_Loved._

"Tony I didn't know you and Ziva had been together." Gibbs said feeling betrayed.

"We weren't" he whispered looking down at the table.

"What happened?" Abby asked curious.

"I only remember bits...I must of been drunk...I thought it was a dream." he said.

"Your going to find her." Gibbs said.

Yes he was.


	7. Postponed tell further notice

**Dear Readers-**

**I have found that I'm not getting enough response to this story and have come to the conclusion to postpone this story until further notice. If you would like this story to continue please send me a private message with your reasons. I love all my fans but I have other stories with more response I would rather work on. **

**That is all for now mt loyal fans.**

**-immyownsuperman**

**(Josie)  
**


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